"The universe hates you. Let’s get that out of the way right now. The universe loathes your guts and is infuriated by the way you dress, and the stupid way you talk sends it into a murderous rage. It’s just one bad morning and an empty coffee canister away from driving to your house and shanking you in the neck. With a supernova."
This article from Cracked.com is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.
It addresses seven cosmic events that would end us including:
1. Hypervelocity Stars
2. Rogue Black Holes (Ninja Assassins)
3. Galactic Cannabalism
4. Vacuum Metastability Event (Cthulhu)
5. Cosmic Radiation
6. Gamma Ray Bursts (Space Hadouken)